(1)
Wife: Honey….. What are You Looking for?
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: Nothing…?? U’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour??
Husband: I was just looking for the expiry date.
(2)
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one.
(3)
Q - What is the Difference between Mother and Wife?
A - One Woman brings you into this world crying… and the other ensures that you will continue to do so.
(4)
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, and then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is completely finished.
A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”
The father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
(7)
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.”
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same : “You can have mine.”
(8)
A woman was telling her friend, “I made my husband a millionaire.”
“And what was he before you married him?” asked the friend.
“A billionaire.” she replied.
(9)
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
(10)
How do most men define marriage?
An expensive way to get your laundry done free.
(11)
A wife asked her husband: “What do you like most in me my pretty face
or my sexy body?”
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: “I like your sense of humour”.
Although I am the one who post them, I don’t believe in some. Just a good way to change your mood.
Feel free to comment or put other jokes which you know.
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.
(12)
Someone said: I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don’t like to disturb her.
(13)
Someone bought his wife a new car. She called and said, “There was water in the carburetor.”
He asked her, “Where’s the car?” She replied, “In the lake.”
So, there is still no offence to girls!! Peace..
Let's starts the story with a sad and terrible "HAIH"... It all happen on Saturday 07/3/2009. In a peaceful morning, and i woke up at 10.30am as usual. After my morning brush up Later that i went to watch the early discover program, and the program was 'How things made'. While i was watching television and eat my breakfast around 11 plus. Suddenly a loud sound "BANGGG!!!" and the car alarm goes off. Normally i wont feel so curious to bother it, but who knows that i stood up from the chair and start looking outside. After i saw my neighbor rush out and so i followed. The first look is that, "Ooh"... Why is my car here? I remember that yesterday night the car was not in this position. Later that i take a look behind of my car. Gosh.. Badly damage due the the bang.. After that i shouted my brother to come out from the house and take a look at the car. That lady driver around mid 40 standing under the tree and started to make phone call and the face were all green, the hand were shaking and same goes to the speech. In my mind was like oh no... now i have no car to go to school..
How did the driver drive the car.. I didn't park my car carelessly and blocking the road. How did she bang? Is she drunk? Sleepy? Running after something? I don't know. Later that someone said that she was try to change the gear. After that, i went to look at her car. It was an auto transmission car. Why she need to look at the gear and change? Cant really understand. How fast does she drive that can cause this damage? Were she speeding inside a housing area to practice to join F1 racing team? There were many speeding hump ( so called bump) inside this housing area... She didn't break at all? Practicing to drift with that old silly car? Got an early argument with the husband and drive badly? But she does not live in this housing area... I really cant understand....
Later, there is a neighbour(annoying uncle) ran toward us and started to say that we park the car at there is wrong and is against the law... Oh My God!!! I started to piss off and i replied that this is in a housing area, if my car cant park here where should i? Nowadays, each family owned at least two cars. How can it fit inside one house. Two neighbour beside my house and including me, each of our family have three cars. In Malacca really can't live without car. Later on, my side neighbour came out, a very understanding and kind malay. I told him about what that annoying uncle tell me that it was illegal for me to park my car like this. After i pin point that annoying uncle and he goes to the him and asked that is he a police ? Does the police say the car cant park here? Later that annoying uncle have to reason to say and goes away because he know he is embarrassing . Later that, my dad arrived. That annoying uncle came out and come to my dad and started to say the same thing that the car park here is illegal. My dad scolded back again and he ran off again. I just don't understand why there were some people that they do the judging immediately without investigating the real situation behind. Before with make our decision, we must always investigate first. With the wrong conclusion or decision, will cause the people around to ignore or look down on you.
The damage of my car. The bonet(or trunk) were badly damage, as the place to store the spare tyre were totally crumple. The back sit clip felt off due to the large impact. The utility drawer that we use to store small change were ejected that normally we can't pull it out with our hand unless we press at the release button. The small change were thrown everywhere of the car even at the backseat. Can you imagine how bad and how large is the impact?
As you can see the water mark left on the road is the mark that cause by the rain yesterday and is a good way for me to prove that i did not park my car to wide.. That's the annoying uncle..
