Some Funny joke copied from my freind!

(1)

Wife: Honey….. What are You Looking for?
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: Nothing…?? U’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour??
Husband: I was just looking for the expiry date.

(2)

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, “What other problem can there be greater than this one.

(3)

Q - What is the Difference between Mother and Wife?
A - One Woman brings you into this world crying… and the other ensures that you will continue to do so.

(4)

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, and then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

(5)

Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is completely finished.

(6)

A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”
The father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”

(7)

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted.”
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same : “You can have mine.”

(8)

A woman was telling her friend, “I made my husband a millionaire.”
“And what was he before you married him?” asked the friend.
“A billionaire.” she replied.

(9)

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

(10)

How do most men define marriage?
An expensive way to get your laundry done free.

(11)

A wife asked her husband: “What do you like most in me my pretty face
or my sexy body?”
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: “I like your sense of humour”.

Although I am the one who post them, I don’t believe in some. Just a good way to change your mood.

Feel free to comment or put other jokes which you know.

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.

(12)

Someone said: I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don’t like to disturb her.

(13)

Someone bought his wife a new car. She called and said, “There was water in the carburetor.”
He asked her, “Where’s the car?” She replied, “In the lake.”

So, there is still no offence to girls!! Peace..

The name that can't be called in airplane!

Funny story that given from my friend..
"After a month-long holiday in the US, my wife and I finally boarded
the plane in San Francisco last Sunday heading home.

As the plane reached cruising speed with the seat belt sign switched
off, a 6-footer black man with the build of Mike Tyson in the front
row got up from his seat, turned to face the back, raised his arm and
yelled, 'HIJACK!'

Everyone was frozen to the seat, expecting the worst to happen. Two
stewards were about to jump onto this guy to overpower him when
another voice answered from the back of the plane: 'HI JOHN!'

The moral of the story is:

If you have a friend named Jack, for heaven's sake don't ever call him
in the plane. Otherwise you may land yourself in deep shit!"

Haha.. What would you feel if you were in the plane?

Bad Day, Car been bang!!

Good day everyone, hope you have a pleasant day....

Let's starts the story with a sad and terrible "HAIH"... It all happen on Saturday 07/3/2009. In a peaceful morning, and i woke up at 10.30am as usual. After my morning brush up Later that i went to watch the early discover program, and the program was 'How things made'. While i was watching television and eat my breakfast around 11 plus. Suddenly a loud sound "BANGGG!!!" and the car alarm goes off. Normally i wont feel so curious to bother it, but who knows that i stood up from the chair and start looking outside. After i saw my neighbor rush out and so i followed. The first look is that, "Ooh"... Why is my car here? I remember that yesterday night the car was not in this position. Later that i take a look behind of my car. Gosh.. Badly damage due the the bang.. After that i shouted my brother to come out from the house and take a look at the car. That lady driver around mid 40 standing under the tree and started to make phone call and the face were all green, the hand were shaking and same goes to the speech. In my mind was like oh no... now i have no car to go to school..

How did the driver drive the car.. I didn't park my car carelessly and blocking the road. How did she bang? Is she drunk? Sleepy? Running after something? I don't know. Later that someone said that she was try to change the gear. After that, i went to look at her car. It was an auto transmission car. Why she need to look at the gear and change? Cant really understand. How fast does she drive that can cause this damage? Were she speeding inside a housing area to practice to join F1 racing team? There were many speeding hump ( so called bump) inside this housing area... She didn't break at all? Practicing to drift with that old silly car? Got an early argument with the husband and drive badly? But she does not live in this housing area... I really cant understand....

Later, there is a neighbour(annoying uncle) ran toward us and started to say that we park the car at there is wrong and is against the law... Oh My God!!! I started to piss off and i replied that this is in a housing area, if my car cant park here where should i? Nowadays, each family owned at least two cars. How can it fit inside one house. Two neighbour beside my house and including me, each of our family have three cars. In Malacca really can't live without car. Later on, my side neighbour came out, a very understanding and kind malay. I told him about what that annoying uncle tell me that it was illegal for me to park my car like this. After i pin point that annoying uncle and he goes to the him and asked that is he a police ? Does the police say the car cant park here? Later that annoying uncle have to reason to say and goes away because he know he is embarrassing . Later that, my dad arrived. That annoying uncle came out and come to my dad and started to say the same thing that the car park here is illegal. My dad scolded back again and he ran off again. I just don't understand why there were some people that they do the judging immediately without investigating the real situation behind. Before with make our decision, we must always investigate first. With the wrong conclusion or decision, will cause the people around to ignore or look down on you.

The damage of my car. The bonet(or trunk) were badly damage, as the place to store the spare tyre were totally crumple. The back sit clip felt off due to the large impact. The utility drawer that we use to store small change were ejected that normally we can't pull it out with our hand unless we press at the release button. The small change were thrown everywhere of the car even at the backseat. Can you imagine how bad and how large is the impact?

Let's look at the picture.....
As you can see the water mark left on the road is the mark that cause by the rain yesterday and is a good way for me to prove that i did not park my car to wide.. That's the annoying uncle..

That's my brother and his friend Simon. Calculating the distance of the car??
That's the piece of my skirting that cut into the tree.. Cun ya.??

The car is now at the work shop as we clear out everything inside..... Oh well, got to live with it since it already happen......

Ha ha.. Do you guys get a shock? This lady drive is consider lucky because normally there were a group of kids playing at there. If the kid never notice the car and the accident really happen at that time, what will it happen to the kid? Just couldn't imagine. Please drive safely in a housing area as there are many car park by the road side and there are also kids playing around. Please drive safely and you'll make the difference..

Must be Thankful...

I AM THANKFUL: FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT'S EGGS N BACON TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,
AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.


FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA
BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME
AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.


FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME,
NOT ON THE STREETS.


FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM EMPLOYED .



FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE
BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.


FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.



FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE



FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.


FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING
I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS
WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH..


FOR THE PARKING SPOT
I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING
AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION .


FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM WARM.


FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH
WHO SINGS OFF KEY BECAUSE IT MEANS
I CAN HEAR.



FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.


FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES
AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN
CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.



FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF
IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.


AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE
FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.


SEND THIS TO SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT. I JUST DID.

Live well, Laugh often, & Love with all of your heart!

New way of Police Speed Trap.. Must read..

I just receive a mail again from my friend telling that this is a new way for police to catch whoever is speeding.. scary right?? For now onwards, we must be very careful when we are speeding.. As for me, i must look out for it too cause i like to speed.. HAHa..

Last saturday MMU Olympic - Badminton

Hi there once again, since I am playing in the badminton section. Let me share with all of you..

First of all, as my usual badminton partner have already change event to go tennis. As for me, i can only play in double game so I have to find a partner. As I also ask around my friend and I found my new badminton partner (Ai zek). Please forgive if I spell your name wrong. Before the event, we try to arrange some time to train together so that we have our so call team spirit. Due to the reason of curfeu because staying with parent and dint get to play with my partner. We manage to play once two days before the event, and the team work is totally none. That night we really struggle very hard to pair with it. But the time is too short and i have to call it a day. We were very worried that on the coming event will we be able to play, and we dint hope for much.

On the event day, saturday morning when I wake up. I feel the tension and the excitement in the coming challenge as I know there will be MMU team player is joining the event and we also dint have a good team work. But we encourage each other that we will play our best. Our venue were at Kidspot Badminton Hall near our MMU Malacca campus. I believe some of you been there to play before. The event start at 9 am and the hall is full with badminton player as they warm up their body and use their skill to win the game. As for my match was on 12.20pm but i went to the place early and look at their match. On that day, the weather were terribly hot and the feeling inside the hall was like a big oven. All of the player that sit inside the hall were all sweating. As the hall have only 3 old ventilation fan ontop the roof. It is lucky that no people faint in the event. As the first match comes, we tried our very best to play and we won the game. As we waited for the second match.

At the afternoon, one of the badminton net broke and cause the court cant be use for competition. I am not sure why it broke. Soon later they Mr. Ong Dun Siang arrive and found out this incident. He quickly went out and get a badminton net to replace it and the game manage to go on without much delay. Thanks to ah Dun for the rescue… Later that, the owner arrive. The owner were very angry as she claim that the net were all new and impossible it can break. And she eventually went into the court and demonstrate that if the player do such action to the net and cause to break while the game is still on. Wow, that owner really dint give a damm to the game, as the have to replay it. As the day goes by to the evening, dark cloud started to form and as the wind blow toward the hall. Soon after that, the rain started to fall. Seconds after the rain, water start to leak into the badminton court from the roof. And we found out that there were several place have leakage. This leads to suspend the game from going on. Beside that, the electricity were also been cut due to some place have been short circuit and we have to find it out to turn it back on. The game were not that smooth when it come to evening. Good thing that the rain does not last long. After the rain, we quickly clean the badminton court and start our game back. As it comes to the third match of the day, we face MMU team 2nd seed player. It was a tough match and we couldn’t won the game and we were knockout from that stage. We feel very happy that we manage to go that far. We really hope that someday we get to play again.

As my previous badminton partner had a post in here say about winning isn’t everything. This statement is true and the match we took it as a entertainment. We dint feel any hard feeling after losing the game. In the game, I have notice a girl(young lady), she look very upsad when she did a mistake and her emotion affect along the match. In badminton or any other sport, we really need to learn from mistake and don’t let the mistake control your emotion and leads to sad ending. I use to be like that and i try to change after my new partner corrected me. We all should learn this important lesson. We must learn from mistake as it also apply to our daily life.